Newport This Week

Onward, Upward and Seaward

Summer has flashed, like a bulb on a Pentax, But we write on, unabashed, and we use the best syntax.

It has been three months since I last penned some couplets, With news about mergers, urgers, perjures and sublets,

Short-term rentals, education fundamentals, A few salacious incidentals and the occasional transcontinentals.

As officials broke ground on a new Rogers High, Some 80 people met at the Wyndham, asking “Why?”

Attendees talked merging the Islander and the Viking. To their long overdue liking.

Yes, regionalization! To reshape Aquidneck Island public education.

“How will it look? Will there be equity? How much will we save?” A dozen more meetings to book. Save our integrity. Catch the new wave!

(This has NOTHING to do with Middletown schools being broke.) Whoever thinks that, will soon be WOKE.

They simply regret not previously joining those kindly Newport folk. (if you believe that, okey-doke…)

Turn off that rap. Bury the hatchet. Throw away that ascot. The most important question still remains. What will be their mascot?

Still, nothing may come of it, beyond that new $108 million hovel Currently under construction (but schools need $10M more for each steam shovel).

But the move could save millions, streamline, improve each class, You might even be able to fill up school buses with gas!

If inflation doesn’t stop, it won’t matter, the merging bylaw, These kids will have to commute by scooter or rickshaw.

Yes, the Wyndham was on fire with regional rhetoric, not literally set ablaze, Like the Wayfinder Inn and Days Inn, each suspiciously lit up within seven days.

Just add alleged arson to the police departments’ list of suspect sleaze. In three weeks, police recorded arrests in 8 shootings from “Challenge Orbeez.”

For the uninitiated, the challenge comes from a video on Tik Tok, which pleads To teens to use toy guns to shoot people, cars, and homes with gel-based beads.

And it’s been three months since the Cliff Walk collapse. But who has a handle or the pockets to fill in the gaps?

Did anything good happen? Have we risen above the fray? Well, outdoor dining seats on Broadway may be here to stay.

On May 10, Newport got its second of its international hall of fames, When the Sailing Hall opened to an expectant public on Thames.

Local publishing averted tragedy and the deep cut of the knife, When that glossy city magazine returned – Newport (brought back to) Life.

And, my friends, no one would even think to pillage, That beloved stone-hewn Swiss Village,

However, SVF has closed down its grain, corn meal and rolled oats. Put away its copious DNA notes,

Sheared off its array of tawny woolen coats. Ended its 20-year mission to cryopreserve the genetics of rare cattle, sheep and goats.

Somewhere…. …there is a new mascot name in there.

On June 13, residents got their first glimpse of giant wind turbines. Hope they don’t ruin the view from the Middletown confines. (Alert the airlines.)

Th er wa an IT cy er gl ch at Cit Hal. Lett s mis ng. Can you read this at all ?

Emails, phones, mics, monitors, all were surprised. Possibly compromised. Very few of us have been apprised. The press is still waiting to be advised.

IT forces have been mobilized. Weeks have passed, was hacking disguised? If planned, whoever might have done this was organized.

Certainly unauthorized. In a world that is completely computerized, smelling flowers becomes prized. — James Merolla

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