2018-05-31 / Around Town

Time to Rein in the ‘Promposal’

SLICE OF LIFE
By Amy Martin


When it comes to Prom or Homecoming, how to ask a girl to accompany you as your date is the hardest thing for guys to do. A creative Promposals will make it tough for her to say no! When it comes to Prom or Homecoming, how to ask a girl to accompany you as your date is the hardest thing for guys to do. A creative Promposals will make it tough for her to say no! Now that prom season is coming to a close I would like to bring the subject of the “promposal” some much needed adult attention. In fact, the point of the promposal is all about attention, so this is my effort to expose the nonsensical side of this generational practice.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, think of a creative, statement making, often ultra-flashy gesture normally exhibited during a marriage proposal: signs, flowers, jumbotrons, Mariachi bands, and more. Now apply that effort to one teenager asking another teenager to the prom. There you have it. The promposal.

Yes, that’s right. Teenagers today apparently can’t just ask another teenager to a prom by walking up to their date of choice and throwing out the question during the allotted four-minute travel time between classes. This au courant version of the ask must demonstrate an over-the-top expression of just how badly one teen wants another teen as his or her prom date.


Amy Martin is an opinion columnist with a background in family chaos, laughter and a lot of laundry. She writes from a perspective of passion, reality and humor. Amy Martin is an opinion columnist with a background in family chaos, laughter and a lot of laundry. She writes from a perspective of passion, reality and humor. Today, the asker must hire a Top 20 performer to serenade hopeful date while shooting themselves out of a cannon and simultaneously preparing a five-course meal with Bobby Flay. Don’t forget the videographer for social media postings.

Can you even remember asking or being asked to the prom when you were in high school? Well, gen-whatever-it-is-now will be forever haunted by this moment because their grandchildren will Google it for them! I have to wonder if a whole new division of therapy will emerge because of this practice. (Middle-aged adult: “Doc, I have trouble showing affection.” Doctor: “Let’s pull up the clip and analyze your promposal rejection.”

Thank God my generation’s awkward adolescent moments while sporting a Dorothy Hamill haircut or a male perm aren’t digitally accessible to the world.

According to a 2015 Visa survey, the average American teenager spent $324 on promposals, with New England teenagers coming in at the highest cost of $431! This was three years ago. What?!

Who is footing the bill for this, you ask? You guessed it. In a majority of cases it’s the parents. Yes, parents are aiding and abetting this practice. When I attempt to apply this parental practice to myself, all I can think is, this is the kid who I can’t get to put the dishes in the dishwasher, but I’m going to give him $324 to coordinate a jumbotron message? Right.

It’s one thing to buy your child the poster board to make a sign or the Duncan Hines cupcake mix for a baked-good creation to ask the prospective date with. It’s entirely another to spend $324 to get a yes or no answer. I get yes or no answers for free from my teenagers every day.

On Wednesday the Federal Reserve released survey results stating that 49 percent of Americans don’t have enough money to cover a $400 emergency expense. But by all means, let’s prioritize $324 so Timmy can shoot fireworks off his head while parasailing in order to maybe have a date to the prom.

Obviously, I’m not comparing apples to apples here, but the juxtaposition of these two surveys highlights the climate of importance in our current culture. If the over-the-top gesture is now the expectation for the ask to the prom, what will it be for a marriage proposal down the road? What about the actual marriage? Expectations and perspectives need to be kept in check.

After writing this article, I’m pretty sure my children will now be “prom ask” blacklisted. I’ll make sure to allocate $324 to their “my mom ruined my life” therapy fund.

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